It’s not uncommon for people to play around with their hair colours, and if you have the ability to do so, no one should be able to stop you from sporting a style and colour that isn’t considered conventional.
But one woman has said her stepmum is demanding she dye her hair a “natural colour” instead of the purple and pink look she currently has for her upcoming wedding to the woman’s dad, despite having had her unique style for three years.
The 19-year-old woman said she had once told her stepmum to let her know if she “needed anything for the wedding” as she’d be happy to lend a hand, but said her stepmum is now using that to demand she dye her hair.
And even though the woman has refused to ruin the hard work it took to get her hair to the stage it is currently in, her stepmum won’t stop pushing – and has even called her purple and pink look “childish”.
In a Reddit post, she said: “I’m a 19-year-old girl and my dad is marrying his girlfriend of five years. She wants me to be one of her Bridesmaids. I’m not particularly close to her but we’re civil so whatever, right? I agreed, telling her I’d be happy to do so and to let me know if she needed any help with wedding things.
“I got a call from her last week telling me that she wants me to go to her hairdressers with her so my hair can be made a more natural colour like my natural brown or even a deeper chestnut as she thought that’d look nice on me. I was confused by this and asked her what she was talking about, and she told me I’d stand out too much in the bridal party with my hair.
“I have waist-length hair that is an Ombre of purple and pink. My hair has been this colour for the past three years so it’s not like I sprung it on her out of nowhere just before the wedding.
“I told her I wasn’t about to ruin the style I spend a lot of money and time to upkeep just for her wedding and she implied that at 19 I was getting too old for such a childish style and it was really for my own good. She reminded me how I’d told her if she needed anything for the wedding to let me know, she then told me this is what she needed.
“I was shocked by this and pointed out I’d meant something like picking up party favours for the reception, dress fittings and the like not changing my hair.”
The woman then told her stepmum that she would be dropping out of being a bridesmaid if she kept demanding that she dye her hair, but was told she’d “embarrass” her dad and his wife-to-be if she dropped out now.
She added: “I told her I wouldn’t be doing this sorry and if she felt that way I just wouldn’t be her bridesmaid so I didn’t stand out too much. She was upset with me and the call ended rather coldly.
“I’ve had my dad phoning me every so often since then trying to talk me into changing my hair, he is implying it’s not a big deal and he’ll pay to fix my hair after the wedding.
“He told me I had to be her bridesmaid as she’d told everyone I would be and how I’d embarrass her in front of her friends and family if I refused now as they’d think we’re not close. I’ve pointed out to him that we’re not and it’s on her if she made it seem like we were to people she knows. I told him if I had to be a bridesmaid she could accept my hair as it is or I’d just stay home.”
Commenters on the Reddit post were firmly on the woman’s side, with many saying her dad and stepmum should be able to accept her for who she is – hair colour and all.
One person said: “They can invite you – the real you – or not. You can accept their invitation – or not. What they don’t get to do is invite an imaginary alternative version of you that they’d rather have instead and then insist that you fake it.”
While another added: “No one should be asking you to dye your hair, your stepmother is at fault for skewing the perception of your relationship. Either way she’s made her bed and she needs to lie in it.”